Blocking software

I’m not sure exactly why companies see access to blogs as prohibited but for some reason they see reading the thoughts of others as potentially subversive. As a result, I can read many of my favourite blogs (including those of some of my own readers) but any attempt to comment on these blogs results in an ‘unauthorised page’ message and the end of that particular web adventure. So please don’t think I don’t have thoughts and comments on your posts. I just can’t get to them because of some bloody software.

Yesterday couldn’t have gone much worse if it tried. My Grandmother was in particularly vociferous mode and proceeded to tell me that I had ‘locked her away’ and that she trusted me, had fed me as a child and so on, but that I’d tricked her, let her down and she would never forgive me. I must admit that I just crumbled and became very upset. I guess I’ve had my heart broken in the past but never like that.

I have always lived my life on the basis of honesty and loyalty and she called both of these into question yesterday. I felt like I had been ripped open to my very soul. A dreadful experience which will take a while to get over.

Get over it I must though because I do not want to get to a point where I dread visiting. She is very confused and chances are that she’ll be fine the next time I visit. I hope so. Given that everyone in the place is in a similar condition to her, I felt like my dad and I were very alone in there yesterday. She was even harder on him which was unpleasant as no son-in-law anywhere will have done as much for his mother-in-law as he has. I can only comfort myself with the fact that she is mixed up and will eventually come round.

The final blow came last night when we learned that my Grandfather also has Vascular Dementia, albeit in the early stages. It’s hard to believe that both of them will be affected. We have all this to go through with him as well.

I have drawn some strength from an unlikely source however. Cliff Richard wrote a brilliant article on the BBC website about his elderly mothers dementia and I can draw a lot of parallels with his experience. That article helped me a lot. Thanks for that Cliff. If you could ditch the cheesy Christmas songs though I’d like you all the more.

Anyhow, I don’t intend this to become a dementia blog, basically because this situation isn’t going to get better and it will be a long process. I don’t intend to drone on about it all so I’ll end it here for now. Back to the iPod and the workload it is then.

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