Return

And so I return. I’ve not felt like writing anything here for a while for a number of reasons. Myself and my family have had a rough couple of weeks for sure, but I’ve also been very busy with other things, not least bringing myself up to date with the latest happenings in the world of accessibility. My new job starts in just under 4 weeks time and I want to be ahead of the game before I start.

I’m finding it strangely easy to get over the death of my Grandfather. Before anyone thinks I am being callous, please allow me to explain. He was ill for 9 months, initially with a broken hip (which is a major trauma for someone of a young age, let alone 88 years), then due to negligence in hospital he fell and broke his arm. The broken arm occurred the day before he was due to be discharged having recovered from the broken hip which was a particularly cruel blow to us all, most of all him. After he broke his arm, things went fairly visibly downhill.

He struggled from then on in with numerous urine and bowel infections which can be fairly disruptive to the elderly and cause immense confusion and almost delirium at times. He had suffered a couple of minor heart attacks and a stroke whilst in hospital and his heart started to fail. As a result of this, decreased circulation to the extremities caused gangrene to set into his feet and legs causing him immense pain.

Regardless of the details, the point I am trying to make is that we lost him in installments, grieving as we went. Furthermore, on the day he died, I went to see his body in the hospital. He was still in the same bed, wearing a nice shirt, with fresh flowers by the bedside. They had put in his teeth and he looked as much like himself as he could do (he refused to eat and drink in his latter days and resembled a concentration camp victim, he was so thin - I could get my hand almost completely round his thigh!).

Anyway, upon entering the room I was immediately aware of his absence. His body was there but he wasn’t. It sounds an obvious observation but there was more missing than breathing and movement. I still can’t put my finger on what it was but it was as plainly obvious as it would be if he was missing an arm or leg. I felt he had gone, leaving this empty vessel behind. Now, I’m not a religious man in any way but I felt he had gone somewhere and that has been a great comfort to me since.

I am not working today as per my usual Wednesday. A wild goose chase across the city in rush hour has pissed me off today. I was to take the car to have a new wing mirror fitted on the western edge of the city this morning, only for them to find that the replacement they had ordered was shattered. As usual with my luck, they sent me to another branch (10 minutes drive from our flat) which meant a drive back through the city centre in rush hour for a fitting that took under a minute. Great. Not.

I intend to work on a couple of websites today as I really need to bolster the bank balance this month. Hopefully I’ll be able to concentrate long enough to get these done although Jon Gaunt on Talksport is distracting me big time. I’d better get back to it. Thanks for all your kind words on my last post. They mean a lot to me.

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