Face like a welders bench/Eggstremely stupid

Posted on June 21, 2007
Filed Under Current affairs, Life, Rants |

Every morning on my walk to work I buy the teams morning scones from a cracking wee bakers in Leith. Usually I’m served by a lovely wee old wifie who chats away as she butters the scone. However, it seems she is away on holiday this week and her replacement is none too cheery.

Upon requesting 6 buttered scones this morning I was met with what I can only describe as a ‘face like a welders bench’. I had to double check that I hadn’t said anything controversial (such as ‘Is that a wig yer wearing?’) such was the extent of her scowl. I may well be wrong, but surely the job usually entails dispensing of baked products to the general public? It’s bad enough when the morning is drizzly and foggy without a frosty reception in the bakers. The only mitigating factor is that she’d probably been up since 4am.

On the subject of early morning food, I noticed that yesterday, an advertising ‘watchdog’ banned the return of classic egg television adverts recorded in the 1950’s by the great Tony Hancock. They were to be rerun in their original format, encouraging us all to ‘go to work on an egg’. Ridiculously, the ‘watchdog’ banned the adverts on the basis that they would discourage a varied diet. Like we would really eat an egg for every meal on the back of watching these adverts! I’m getting sick of the nanny state approach in this country where we are no longer treated as adults, capable of making our own decisions. I’m looking forward to Gordon Brown taking over. A solid Fifer. We’ll be back to deep fried Pizza’s and chips before long. It’s the Scottish way. If you cannae deep fry it it’s not worth eating. In the early 1990’s there was a craze for deep fried chocolate in the chippies here.

I am personally however making good inroads into eating more healthily. It’s funny how the imminent arrival of a baby focuses your mind on your health. You become very aware, very quickly of your own mortality and the responsibility upon you to basically stay alive and provide. I’m off to the gym at lunchtime for a swim as well. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m carrying a few extra pounds. I am 36 years old after all and it becomes harder to shift the weight as you get older. Basically because you’re not running around daft playing football and the like.

Another issue I’ve noticed as I get older is my inability to cope with hangovers. I used to be able to go on a good night out and get up next morning fresh as a daisy. About ten years ago I could even do three nights out in a row. These days I’m wrecked after only one relatively mild night. I feel like I’ve been beaten up.

I am definitely getting old. Anyone seen my cardigan?

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