When bored, interfere with yourself.
Posted on July 21, 2007
Filed Under Life |
Because if you don’t you’ll end up like me, standing at midnight in a queue of muppets dressed as wizards with lipstick scars scrawled on their heads. All because I was bored at 11.45pm and decided I might as well nip into town and pick up the latest J.K. Rowling masterwork.
So, there I stood, next to the most incredible Harry Potter bore (a man in his mid 50’s no less) for an hour and a half. An hour and a half on George Street in Edinburgh. Pisshead central on a Friday night. If one drunk bloke walked past and shouted “He dies in the end” then a thousand did. Every one thinking they were more original than the last. Add to that the fact that a Waterstones employee dressed as a dementor saw fit to pay me slightly more attention than I deserved by leaning into me and breathing like an asthmatic Darth Vader for effect.
After an hour and a half queueing, I collected my book from a diminutive bookshop staff member wearing a fake witches nose. Is this what my life has become? I used to be the pissed bloke shouting out the (alleged) plot spoilers.
As the porter said to Georgie Best. Where did it all go wrong? Or, having seen the state of some of Edinburgh’s denizens of the night, I should perhaps be asking where did it all go right?
Comments
One Response to “When bored, interfere with yourself.”
Leave a Reply
Posts
I guess I should read Harry Potter. I made it about fifty pages into Harrius Potter et Philosophi Lapis, but it’s really hard.
On a different note, I find your choice of words delightful.