Thought it was about time I posted an update on Sam or ‘Spongebob’ as we often refer to him. He’s coming along great. He’s ten and a half months old now and has started to take his first faltering steps. His walking style is reminiscent of me when I’ve had a few pints to be honest. Without the kebab or the pizza with the cheese dripping off onto the ground.
I spend my time trying to hear him say ‘Dada’. Half the time I kid myself that I can hear it in amongst his mad baby babble. He’s doing good though and he cheers me right up when I get home at night.
Given that this is one of my reknowned double title posts, I should probably move onto the second half of my post. Plain and simple, Mikey to win Big Brother.
I know it’s knives in the eyes TV but lets face it, when you’ve fed and wiped the arse of a ten month old all night, you want something mindless. And we enjoy it. For the uninitiated, Mikey is a blind, cross dressing, 33 year old stand up comedian from Kilwinning in Ayrshire.
I’ve found him highly entertaining from the start but perhaps his finest moment came in recent weeks when, whilst cooling off in the swimming pool, he was whacked in the back of the neck by a baseball thrown by Darnell, another housemate. The sheer, unadulterated fucking bizarreness of a blind swimmer being hit accidentally with a baseball thrown by an albino black man would blow even the most imaginitive of minds but it’s the ensuing swearfest from Mikey which makes it special.
The resulting stream of expletives uttered by Mikey was a joy to watch and absolute proof that you can take the boy out of Scotland, but you can’t take Scotland out of the boy. Enjoy.
In fact, it may only be bettered by the moment when he ate an entire Scotch Bonnet Chilli like it was an apple. Magic as well. Vote for this guy.
on Sep 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 am
I remember when wee Sam was announced to the world! Is it really 10 months?
Hope all is well with you, although I see BB dimentia is setting in with relish.
on Sep 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
Wow. I am astonished that a blind cross-dresser survived to 33 years old in Kilwinning! Makes you proud.
on Sep 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
A blind cross-dresser with a penchant for collecting Nazi Memorabilia no less…..