Two cities, a hug and a clockwork orange

I was on the 7am train to Glasgow this morning. Not a good time to have to catch a train to get to a 9am meeting. Such is travel to and from Edinburgh these days. It seems Scotrail are making a hash of the railway lines at the same time as Edinburgh City Council are making a mess of the roads. An hour and a half this morning to complete a journey which usually takes only 45 minutes.

After an hour and a half stuck cramped up on a train – as is always the case, the guy opposite me seemed to be as tall as an NBA basketball player, leaving me no leg room – I emerged onto the taxi rank at Queen Street station to a taxi driver who didn’t have a frigging clue as to the location of the street I was aiming to get to and I had to prompt him with the names of some of the surrounding streets, hastily recalled from last nights quick glance at Google Maps.

As I was visiting a radio station run by the RNIB, this was a case of the blind leading the blind to a blind radio station. Not often that happens I’m sure.

As is usually the case with Glasgow taxi drivers, I got his life story for the 15 minute journey, including details of his recent stroke and the barrage of tests required to identify that this was what had happened to him. I’d summarise, but his own words are better:-

“They pit this big muckle tube doon yer throat. It’s as wide as yer finger. The wifie who was in afore me, her guts couldnae haundle it. Boom. Shite everywhere man.”

So eloquent. That story alone was worth the Â£8 fare.

Obviously we had bonded. Upon leaving the taxi, he got out and opened the door for me and gave me this wee awkward man hug/hand on the belly/pat on the back combination which left me feeling slightly uncomfortable.

I opted against a taxi on the way back and settled for a journey on the Glasgow Underground. Widely known as the “Clockwork Orange” largely due to the orange colour of the trains and the circular route of the underground itself, I couldn’t believe it when the train turned up and it was cream in colour. What? Whit? Eh?

That’s council’s for you. Wee rebrand here, tram network there. No class or common sense.

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