It’s not every day that you are walking past a shop and a family sized bag of butterkist comes flying out the door. To be fair, it’s not every day you are walking by a shop which sells butterkist.
This happened to me in Glasgow the other night. I was on my way up Sauchiehall Street to the ABC to see Marillion when splat (or more accurately ‘rustle’) the bag landed at my feet. Turning to look into the shop, I saw a selection of guilty looking wee neds. Immediately, I knew what had happened. I used to work in a shop after school when I was a teenager and I’d seen this trick before.
Basically, what happens is that one of the wee scrotes distracts the shopkeeper whilst another quickly whips an item of produce out of the door to be collected upon exit. Usually, it’s done in a single, swift motion.
Needless to say, I was onto the wee shites in an instant.
“Did one of you lads drop this?” I asked innocently. Much shuffling of feet followed. “Thought not” I said, tossing the packet of butterkist back to the shopkeeper, for whom the penny had just dropped.
Myself and my two compatriots were followed up Sauchiehall Street with jeers and cries of “We’re going to do you ya grass man”, but with no real attempt to catch up with us.
Come back when you are big enough and brave enough boys.
on Nov 11th, 2008 at 9:18 am
The only surprising element of this story is that it was Butterkist. I mean, who shoplifts Butterkist?
on Nov 11th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I think it’s usually a case of whatever is nearest the door.