I had no change for the bus this morning and had to pop into the newsagent next to the bus stop for an obligatory “change purchase”. Whilst standing in the queue, I witnessed the following conversation at the counter.
The cast list
Assistant 1: Middle aged lady, serving the customers.
Assistant 2: Another member of staff, standing on the shop floor, having a cup of tea and clearly contemplating a fag break.
Customer: An elderly lady with a walking stick purchasing cigarettes.
The conversation
Assistant 1: What can ah get ye?
Customer: 20 of my fags.
Assistant 1: What do you smoke
Assistant 2: It’s 20 Rothmans. Christ, dinnae ask here what she smokes, she cannae mind her name half the time.
Assistant 2 (to customer): Here Betty, could you no find a brush this morning?
Customer: Aye. Enough o your cheek.
Assistant 2: Whit part o’ yer heid did ye yase it on? Yer teeth?
Customer: Ah’ll gie ye teeth.
Assistant 2: The day might be the day you meet the man o’ yer dreams. Wi hair like that, you’ll terrorise him.
Customer: I wouldnae swap my cat for yin o’ thae fuckers.
Assistant 1 (to me): Just the pint of milk son?
All true but all names changed to protect the innocent.
on Mar 18th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Haha. Oh the banter!
I love this line: ‘Ah’ll gie ye teeth.’ Awesome comeback granny!
on Mar 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
The lyricism and beauty of Burns is alive and well in Leith.