Now, whilst watching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers game, I couldn’t help but notice that there is actually a section of the stadium built to resemble a pirate ship, complete with cannons which fire when the Bucs score. All nice and fluffy and not in the slightest bit menacing. Good clean fun.

Being a Scottish football fan (of the soccer variety obviously) however, I find that I struggle to comprehend that there is a sport on this earth where bile, hatred, bigotry and spitting are not an essential part. I don’t mean on the field. I mean in the crowd. It doesn’t even have to be violence per se. Something as innocent as pissing down a rolled up newspaper on to the shoes of a fan in front is surely synonymous with sport worldwide. No?

Well, apparently not. It seems that there are some sports fans who don’t feel the need to stab each other to death after big derby games, or sing songs about Irish famine victims.

I think the Scottish way would take the NFL by storm. I can imagine thousands of bamboozled Americans in Giants Stadium staring wide-eyed at a bunch of knuckle dragging, stripped to the waist neanderthals with T-shirt suntans wearing Union Jacks knotted around their waists. I can even imagine the perplexed conversation in the American end of the ground.

“What’s a chicken supper?”

“Who’s Bobby Sands?”

“Up to their knees in what?”

I think I’ll off and write to Rangers, Celtic and the NFL commissioner and suggest a cultural exchange programme.

Just to make sure you know, this post was brought to you with my tongue firmly in my cheek…….

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